Yesterday I began a five day challenge. A challenge about having a successful mindset.

I had been grappling with an internal dialogue and had not quite deciphered what was going on.

In this challenge, they asked us about our limiting beliefs. What are the beliefs that are holding you back from taking action in your life? Actions aligned with what it is you really want for your life?

What I realised was I was becoming aware, I was becoming much more self aware. Willing to look at myself. Willing to look at the things that don't work or don't quite work as well as I would like them to. 

I also realised I am becoming more open. More open to seeing things I have never seen before about myself and about others. More open to seeing opportunities unfold before me. More open to saying yes. 

I put myself in the right space. I put myself in the right environment. I said yes to challenges, I said yes to coaches, and mentors, I said yes to learning about myself, and yes to learning how to create something for me, for my future, for my family.

In learning about the construct of a limiting belief where really any belief is limiting, I began to hear some of my own. I also began to here just how debilitating and disabling they are. Then it got me thinking what limiting beliefs am I holding on to and how have they held me back.

I asked myself, why am I making myself small? 

When I can be myself with no fear of opinion, or judgement, then who knows how the conversation will arise and what’s possible. What if I’ve been missing out on real and authentic conversations? Real opportunities to be myself?

Because who I know myself to be, is this committed, compassionate, transformational human being who is willing to turn herself inside out to create anything for herself and her life. I’m unleashed and unreasonable, I’m gratitude, happiness, kindness, love and joy, I’m also peace. I am much more than my limiting beliefs!

See so when our internal dialogue and our limiting beliefs run the show it turns out like this: I’m pretending I don’t care what you think of me but really I care deep down a lot what you think of me, I’m not worthy or deserving of your time or for you to listen to me. I have nothing of value to contribute. I don’t belong etc etc

Here is the funny flip side of all this. Had I just switched off the internal dialogue and the limiting beliefs, I can just be myself. That’s all I need to be. Be me.

Being me is also fun, funny, kind, caring, and the real me is someone who creates the relatedness. There is no gap.

See I am you, and you are me. How could there be a gap?

Stop playing small now, you have this big wide world waiting for you to show up as who you are. You can’t do it alone, coaches and mentors, a community of literally gem after gem willing and committed to turning you out.

​What if I told you those unreachable humans who you respect and admire and want to emulate are actually a product of something you create? A thought. An inspiring thought. A thought that says something like: I want to be just like them. Now this is my life’s journey to emulate their way of being but in my own special unique way.

Yesterday, I opened my work emails to an amazing victory. So much so I declared out loud how excited I was, that my body generated tingles.

Have you ever been faced with a challenge or an obstacle and thought how am I going to tackle this one?

I was presented with a project which at first I was curious and intrigued. I knew a snippet of dealing with this particular stakeholder and did quietly think what an amazing opportunity.

I reached out and they responded very quickly. At first I felt overwhelmed asking how am I going to achieve this in a short timeframe. I then moved to well you don’t know what this is going to entail. I asked them to send me what I needed to do.

I could have held on to the overwhelm and the story of lack of time, don’t know what it’s going to take etc but I didn’t. I kept taking imperfect actions.

I knew intuitively what I needed to do. I silenced the little voice in my head that said this is too hard, you’ll create more work for yourself, who do you think you are, you know nothing about this etc all these conversations are about keeping you small and keeping you playing small.

FEAR = False evidence appearing real. Which is something I heard though the day and I realised it was so true.

If I had let my fear take hold, I would not have followed through with taking imperfect actions and would not have arrived here in the place called it’s time to celebrate a small win for a big win is on its way, and celebrate taking imperfect actions and not listening to the little voice.

I discovered for myself that I create the celebration in who I’m being. I was already a yes to the project from the start, when the reality kicked in of what was needed and required, I didn’t let that stop me in fact I allowed it to drive and invigorate more. I only have a week, let’s do this, I’m not tech savvy, but I know what I want. Who am I to be a mentor? I know how to coach, I’ve got this.

Taking moments to celebrate the small and big wins are important. Get clear on what it is that you bring to the table to create what’s possible. You can duplicate this feeling time and time again and this internal celebration you create will be the catalyst for more imperfect actions.

On Sunday, a good friend calls to say hi and that they’ve made me a jar of something and wants to give it to me. Not just give that to me but visit and spoil me at work even!

At first, I am a certain way of being. Not realising and not aware of this way of being.

On the following Tuesday, I realised the last time I accepted a gift freely without needing to reciprocate was when I was pregnant with my second child and a complete stranger to me, was a work colleague of my husband, gave us a baby seat. I was brought to tears because I had realised that people cared about us and would show their love and care for us in many different ways. But also I had a story that I was an imposition or how not to be an imposition on others.

I was always thinking of making things easier for others and that included me sorting them out even though they were offering to do something nice for me....

So I was honest with this friend and told them that what’s in the way for me was a story of being an imposition and not wanting to be an imposition. I said I’m letting it go and gave freely my work address and said whenever it works and suits come along.

What this makes available is an opening. I said what I’m committed to which is being open to receiving and giving love. And the friend also shared their own story and what’s been in their way in the past. You don’t realise the opening is not just for you, the opening is for the other individual in the equation too.

By being vulnerable and honest, open and transparent, you don’t know what is possible.

On this Tuesday, I also had what appeared a disagreement with my husband. I distinguished that all that was there for me was I want the best for us both but I didn’t have a chance to say that in the busyness of the tennis conversation. I’m sure you know these are the backs and fourths of our automatic machinery of being human.

Later, I rang him and said I just want us to create what we want in our lives. Our conversations need to shift to creating more of what we want. For example, if what we want is peace and harmony then we need to talk about that more and how that is going to look for us in reality. Bringing more power to the things we feel powerless about means being clear about what we’re willing to put up with. We shouldn’t even need to put up with anything. We should be talking about how we want our lives to look.

Next minute, an opening arises for him to speak freely, candidly and I’ve never heard him be so honest and frank. He finally got his words out. And I was finally listening to really listen, not to solve, fix etc.

Ask open questions. Realise how you feel. How they feel. Who is the one feeling helpless or powerless in the moment, let that one feel heard. How you feel has a direct impact on how they feel and vice versa but when you can hear what’s really going on you can realise it’s not you and it’s not about you. You can be free in the conversation and you can find a way in your open communication and open questions to hear the undelivered communication and ask questions.

When the individual feels gotten they will find their own way, their own solution, they already know what they need to do, they just needed to hear how they can trust themselves and have the courage to do the things they fear the most.

Being willing to look at yourself and be self aware really takes something. I have participated in a number of learning and development. But the access to applying all my previous frameworks was being willing to look at myself. Frameworks allow you to duplicate the how for yourself. Having coaches and mentors and friendships around you where they also hear you bigger than you know yourself is hugely important. You want the right messages in front of you everyday driving you to see yourself in other ways, ways you’ve never related to before.

But in doing so look at what you make available for yourself. You are letting love in, in these moments.

If you are ready to pursue a pathway that is going to lead to finding out who you really are and what you want your life to be about, just click one of the links on this page.

​EDIT: At the end of the working week, the friend visited me at work, surprised me with a bunch of flowers and a box filled with goodies for everyone in my work pod including me. You really don't know know what is available or possible until you do. I took them for a tour and showed them things I knew would touch their heart. We spoke about the difference we want to make in the world and where our two circles can meet and land. Its the place where our two purposes align and cross over, that's where there is possibility within possibility and you discover another gear, another level of what you're made of. Don't push people away because you are afraid of them finding out who you really are. Let yourself find out who you really are, through these connections and reflections of a side of you, you have never let yourself see before. When you give yourself permission to discover who you really are and what you want your life to be about, more of what you want starts to show up in and around you.

What do I mean by this?

What I mean is that when you take yourself on and turn yourself out, people will see you differently. Not everyone will know exactly what they see differently but you will know.

I received three compliments yesterday. I don’t normally receive compliments like this. I’m normally the one complimenting others. I attribute the compliments to my new way of being, new way of showing up, declaring who I really am.

I have been looking at myself and my life for the past 5 months intentionally and actively working on myself. Looking internally to personally grow.

It’s been a roller coaster of feelings, thoughts and emotions but as they say I’m through the eye of the needle in more ways than one.

See, I had this view of myself before really being willing to look at myself that I’ve done this kind of work before, it will be a breeze etc personal growth journey what do you mean? I’ve done this stuff since I was a child. I’ve got this.

But it was in letting go of the control and asking for help and genuinely letting others in and have them be a contribution to me, is when I actually got traction.

See this view of yourself that you have is actually one slice of the pie. The who you really are is actually the pie! Yes, you’re only seeing one slice of the pie because you have these barriers, these filters, these blocks, patterns, programs that if and or when you’re ready to let go of, you will begin to see all the parts of you.

All the parts of you plus some. The plus some is when you can truly SEE yourself, you’ll SEE others.

When you go to the optometrist to get your eyes checked, and the optometrist issues you glasses, when you put those glasses on, you’ll see things you never saw before, you’ll see more clearly. Yes?

But if it never occurred to you to see an optometrist, and you had blurred vision, over time you would just accept the blurred vision and adjust? Yes?

Consider, that over the years many many times, and on multiple occasions you made up stories about yourself that have become the ways you see yourself, even though you are all the colours of the rainbow... right now you think you are only one two three colours and will actually say I can’t do this I can’t do that, I don’t know how, I couldn’t possibly, what if x y z, worse case scenario, what if, what if, what if...

What if your view of yourself is so skewed you never truly get to find out or know who you really are?

What if this whole time, through your whole life, it hasn’t been something external stopping you from getting what you want in your life?

What if this whole time, through your whole life, it’s been something internal stopping you from getting what you want in your life?

What if, I told you this whole time, through your whole life, there was definitely something missing....

Have a look and tell me what was missing? For you?

You might not be able to see it yet. We all have blind spots. They linger there because of the way we see ourselves.

When we are willing to be open to be willing to be curious, and put aside what we think we know about ourselves, then some amazing transformations can arrive.

It’s not easy. I’m stubborn. I’m headstrong. I’m loud. I’m extroverted. I’m a perfectionist. I want to be liked. I will speak up no matter the consequence. These are who I was before my personal growth journey. Notice the judgement within myself about myself?

There is nothing wrong here. The point is you are not fixed. You are not a fixed way of being. Nor a fixed set of things.

Who you are is a human BEING. You can create your ways of being not from stories from your past but from a space of nothing.

When you are willing to take yourself on and turn yourself out, you will bring yourself back to a space of nothing.

I’m forty. I’ve done reading books, I’ve done face to face seminars, been coached and given coaching in the sense of personal development. But what has actually made the genuine shift for me has been my access to this learning platform, mentors, community, my mum never giving up on me and sharing her own journey within the platform with me.

I was really willing to take myself on this time. And that’s why I know, you have the power to choose, to decide, to free yourself of the chains that have been holding you back from being the very best version yourself. You may have seen glimmers of it before. I did too. Those glimmers are who you really are.

My real access was saying yes to myself for once. Investing in myself has been the best decision I made. See I have a story called I’m not worthy. Do you know how hard it is to spend money on yourself when you have this kind of story?

I have transformed this. It wasn’t easy. All you have to be is willing. Willing to put aside what you think, what you know. Willing to take on a new view of life. A different perspective. Willing to believe in yourself, as that’s the secret to succeeding in this journey.

I’m on holidays with the kids at the moment but what that means is on holidays from my usual workplace.

It doesn’t mean holidays from the things I’m committed to.

What do I mean?

For example, I have a workout during my lunch hour twice a week. I attend a 5klm run once a week. I participate in daily meditation, online learning, listening to podcasts or reading book titles all related to personal growth, all activities I’m committed to outside of my usual workplace.

It got me to thinking what has you take committed action?

What compels you?

What moves you?

What has you say no way in hell am I going to miss out on this x y z?

For me, my health and well-being is and has been the top of my priorities since late 2018 when I had a medical emergency. I experienced the worst pain from an unknown source of bacteria entering my neck.

There are so many reasons why health and fitness are important to me now. But it’s not just health and fitness, it’s wellbeing of mind, body and soul. That’s why I participate in activities which stretch me, challenge me, a workout for the mind as well as a workout for the body.

My aunt once said to me health is your wealth. But until this thing happened to me, and I experienced the pain and suffering of the opposite of good health and wellbeing for myself, this statement was just a statement. Now it’s an affirmation and an intention. It resonates much more than it did before.

There are a few things that happen. First you say I’m glad it’s me and not my kids. Next you say I don’t ever want anyone else to feel this kind of pain and suffering. What can I do to make sure this never happens to someone else? Educate was my only answer. Educate others on your own experience.

When I was younger I used this first aid book. You turned the pages and a question would lead you to two alternate answers, yes or no essentially and keep you moving to the resolution to your ailment. In my minds eye, when this thing happened to me, there was no almanac, it went like this:

I have a sore neck I must have slept funny?

I’m working away, it’s stress, the way I sit using my lap top at work?

I’ll go get massage...

I’ll get more massage...

And more massage....

I see the general practitioner for pain relief as the pain is not subsiding

When I had a sore neck as a child I went to a chiropractor, let’s try a chiro

The chiro suggests myotherapy, let’s try myotherapy

Let’s try a different general practitioner cos the pain relief is not working

The gp suggests physio, let’s try physio

The physio has never seen this in his 14 years of practice and invites his head physio in to have a look, let’s get scans

On the scan I have what looks like a hematoma, which we later discovered through surgery is a rare infection and an abscess.

The pain escalates, I see a gp again for pain relief and later that day I suffer numbness in my head and ring him back, I’m also throwing up the new medication and start to panic because the pain is insurmountable.

Gp says go to hospital. The minute I get to hospital and describe my experience the nurse or doctor on shift knows exactly what’s going on for me. Little did I know this at the time. I was told I would be prepped for surgery in the am and that I would receive pain relief ASAP. They gave me a sleeping tablet too I think.

The next memory I have is being asleep and very very comfortable. I have a weird sensation on my legs, someone is tapping and slapping me. Trying to wake me up. I don’t want to wake up. I ask for a hot washer as I can’t open my eyes.

The surgeon visited me and said they took out a cup of infection. A cup. I won’t go in to detail. But know that this infection is rare but those more susceptible to it is someone who uses drugs, is diabetic or someone of old age, I was none of these. Usually entry is via a needle or a mosquito bite. Did I get bitten? Not that I know of.....

Those few months were both scary and surreal for me.

I turned to the things I knew I could in that moment through manifesting what I wanted. During the nights of healing, I asked myself for healing, I asked for the water I drank to be the magnet to carry away any toxicity from my body. Dr Emoto look him up. While he talks about the crystals in water. I decided to put the intention in to the water I drank.

This combined with prayer. While I don’t think of myself as religious, I follow my heart. I don’t define religion or culture. I have a grandmother who is Christian but she never pushed anything on me, when I went to school I learnt about all religions. When I was at high school, one day I was so passionate about how culture trumps religion, in other words, while Buddhism is a religion, it’s also part of my culture, I don’t see it as religion, but as part of my culture, because I don’t see myself as Buddhist either. I just take on the parts of my culture that have been passed down to me from my ancestors.

That night, I asked for help and guidance to get better. I made a promise to do everything and anything in my power to make sure other people never experience pain and suffering like me. That’s a tall order but I hope I will stay true to this promise.

That night, I had strange dreams. I saw blue and white icicle light. And a visitor by presence and feeling that I want to say is something you cannot describe because this moment is yours and only yours.

The next day I was better. I was literally up and moving and drawing curtains aside. I was me again. I was not pain and suffering.

What would my life be like if I was always thinking I better live my best day today, for tomorrow is not promised?

What if I lived like because I have no pain and suffering today, I’ll say yes to everything?

What if I lived like I was thankful and grateful everyday because I survived yesterday? (Not waiting for a medical emergency, to say I survived the medical emergency?)

What if I let myself have a life I truly love today, not tomorrow, because tomorrow is not promised?

What if there is nothing else that exists except the present moment?

Would that have me take committed actions?

I dreamt the following words:

Euphoric
Elevation
Elation

I don’t know why and I don’t know if they go together or what they mean to me yet.

When I listen to music I have a sensation through my head and body.

When I listen to music that moves me the sensation is heightened. I would usually call the tingles.

I’m going to guess that those words have something to do with being at or in your highest state. When you are vibrating at a higher level.

According to Wikipedia, Euphoria is the experience (or affect) of pleasure or excitement and intense feelings of well-being and happiness.

Certain natural rewards and social activities, such as aerobic exercise, laughter, listening to or making music, and dancing, can induce a state of euphoria.

According to Wikipedia, Elevation (in the sense of feeling or sensation) Elevation is an emotion elicited by witnessing virtuous acts of remarkable moral goodness. It is experienced as a distinct feeling of warmth and expansion that is accompanied by appreciation and affection for the individual whose exceptional conduct is being observed.

Elation means great happiness and exhilaration or the outcome of being happy might be that you are elated, filled with happiness and joy.

So this all leads back to my possibilities and the creation of who I am is the possibility of gratitude, happiness, kindness, love and joy.

I believe in picking up the crumbs and clues that get left behind.

I dreamt these words so clearly in my mind I heard myself say them in my dream over and over obviously trying to help my waking self to remember them.

When I first googled euphoric elevations it was a book title, I’ll have to check it out because it’s poetry and sensuality all rolled in to one. I don’t know if this is the crumb or clue until I read it.

Then, I used the authors name to try and find out more and came to an article on another someone by the same name of the author. She started a pay it forward style buy a book for a disadvantaged child project. I was intrigued so I read on.

She described herself much like me. When she has an idea she rolls with it in the moment, even if it means she misses out on sleep.

She collaborated with her community and the communities of authors native to her country and book shops. Each family or child would receive a brand new book for their age upon arriving to a refuge home. These are children who may be the result of domestic violence for example and they come to these homes with nothing.

She reminded me of myself in saying that as a child reading a book will take you places. It would only be natural for someone who loves the way a book can take you places to then become an author.

She is on to something here.

My dad took me to the library every Saturday and anytime I needed something for a school project.

Going to the library at first was daunting but soon you learnt how to find things.

Little did I know as a child, that the library only held a certain number of titles depending on where you lived.

Little did I know as a child, I could reserve titles.

The titles you chose were influenced by what your mum or dad read or what people read at school.

If your parents didn’t say hey how about reading this. you might never have known how to search for a title that would take you places.

Fast forward to high school and our final years curriculum actually provided a book list. The same for university. You were given a book list and you were to read these titles.

Imagine being a child with a book list to read through. One which would open up your mind, your imagination, your creativity? Who would you be? Who would you become?

So I don’t just want to give books away. I want to know from other people what book or books did you read that a child or an adult just has to read once?

For me, the Harry Potter series is a pure example of an author who from nothing created anything and everything. This inspires me to let others know that they can be, do and have what they want in their life just by declaring it and saying so. No circumstance can be in your way if you are determined, resolute and persevere.

I was also lucky as a child, that my mum and dad got involved in many personal growth journeys and so I was exposed to book titles on the same topic. I remember reading them back then but who knew that subliminally they would enter the filing cabinet of my mind and not be unleashed until now?

As an adult now, we all do have a plethora of resources around us but what can be overwhelming is where to begin. Having a community of likeminded individuals traversing this journey means on any given day individuals who are both mentors and coaches of their own niche are having conversations that mesh exactly with you and your thinking.

What do I mean by that?

I wrote this blog yesterday and today someone from another part of the world within this learning platform community asked to mastermind on a book title around personal growth and another person reached out to ask about 10-15 book titles she can get started with on the same topic.

These are the people I get to rub virtual shoulders with. They are accessible, authentic and highly committed to helping one another achieve collective growth.

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

Hello ? world ?.

I went awol.

Yes I did.

The mind operates in unique and funny ways.

So here are the mechanics of the mind from my experience and point of view of this phase or moment of being stuck and I share it in the hopes it will help you to see something for yourself.

Did you want to know what keeps you from following your dreams and following what you really want in your life?

It’s YOU.

Shock horror! No way! Not me! No.... that can’t be right... no *shakes head* repeatedly. Shall I keep going now or? Wait for a little, while we both let it sink in?

I woke up today thinking how come I haven’t been able to create? What has me disconnect from my creativity? How come I haven’t taken imperfect action? What could be in my way?

I realised it was me and I realised it was a number of conversations about myself that is in my way.

See the thing is we are so busy doing, that we forget to be. When we are busy doing, we don’t stop. It’s this never ending conveyor belt of tasks. When we actually give ourselves permission to stop is the moment we can listen to hear from within.

Human beings are habitual and do need certain routines to be able to function and everyone is different. I am out of routine. Out of my routine. I took holidays from work to be with the kids and spend time with them. The result is that I haven’t participated in my daily rituals however small, getting up stretching, meditations and exercise. Most of my challenges have finished. Those were daily actions I took to fulfil on a particular purpose.

Somehow I had a conversation about where I was at comparing myself to others. This certainly doesn’t work. I don’t need to compare myself to others. I can only be me. Life is not a race. It’s a journey. Somehow having this comparison conversation is about pitting yourself against another in the race of life. But like I said it’s not a race, it’s a journey.

Thinking that because I am on this journey of transforming myself and my life that I’m somehow an imposter if I don’t share this with every single person in my life. I’m no imposter, and I do want all of the people in my life to know me as I know myself now but if life is a journey then re-introducing myself will also be a journey.

Why do I even feel like I need to re-introduce myself? Just keep being me and keep showing up. Because I’m changing and will continue to change, it will take many honest conversations with the people in my life so that they relate to the new me and not the old me which will be a version of me that is their perception based on how I behaved in the past.

The new me has created new possibilities and new promises and will show up brand newly first and foremost for myself. Secondarily I hope the people in my life will relate to me as this. It makes it far easier if I own up to my past behaviour and complete that and then share my new possibilities.

Who I am is the possibility of gratitude, happiness, kindness, love and joy. When this is not present for me, it’s a simple declaration to say “who I am is”.

So all that is in my way is telling myself my truth and others my truth. What am I afraid of? I’m afraid of rejection. As if what I would say will push people away. This is the ego trying to sabotage all. In reality I have no idea how the conversations will go, until I have them.

Before going on holidays, I had some amazing conversations with important people in my life and they turned out the opposite of my worse case scenarios. They turned out amazingly because I was honest, upfront, raw, authentic.

The thing is, the real truth is that all the criticism comes from you. So many many times you had these conversations about yourself to yourself. No one outside of you thinks like you do about you (some do the same as you and think like you do about themselves!!!) You are brutal to yourself. You are so brutal you will bury yourself under your own criticism. I watched a singer on a national tv singing show do the same to herself last night. All the conversations she had about herself strewn across the expression on her face. So what, she forgot some words? It happens. We all make mistakes. But what we have control over - who are we going to be about it?

Who are you going to be about yourself and your life? During the school holidays I was driving the kids to the park but somehow ended up in the tunnel/a toll road on the way to work. I spoke out loud and said I’m on autopilot. The kids didn’t know what this meant and my eldest said mum stop autopilot. What is it mum? Stop it.

I went on to explain autopilot to them. But it also gave me an idea on how to communicate my journey with others.

Have you been on autopilot? So much so that you ended up driving to a destination you had no intentions of heading to? How often and how long have you been doing this?

I remember before lockdown, twice driving to park run and ending up on the way to work. And twice over the holidays I was driving to the park or playground and ending up on the way to work.

But the analogy extends far beyond catching the autopilot of driving the automobile. It extends to your life.

If you’re like me, for how long will you stand being on autopilot? For me, how long was I going to honour my parents and for that matter grandparents programming? Who said working for the government gives you security. Which is true. But is this fulfilling on my life’s purpose? What is my life purpose? Have I let myself be on autopilot for so long that I’ve forgotten to dream? Forgotten to pursue my life’s purpose?

At one of the first “seminars” I attended with my family one of the exercises was called find your purpose. They got you to write what you thought was your purpose on a small card, then they blindfolded you and you had to walk aimlessly (it would have been quite funny to watch) around a room until you pointed out or touched your purpose and then they took your blindfold off. It could be several hours later before everyone found their purpose.

The point I’m trying to make is that while that exercise seems pointless, there is some value to it. To truly find your life’s purpose will be a moment. It will be gold. You will operate with an intentional direction or compass.

The purpose of my life is to acknowledge the greatness of others. It’s taken forty years for me to realise but there have been many crumbs left as clues for me to finally arrive here.

I have a natural ability to acknowledge people. It started with acknowledging my grandparents and grew and grew and grew from there.

Now my life is not just about honouring them. Now I see it’s about honouring the people around me who are already up to stuff. I don’t know yet what it looks like but I’m excited because I have already been doing a little bit of this.

Whenever I get to see someone for who they really are I acknowledge them. I already have been calling these people real life Mother Teresa’s, Mahatma Gandhi’s. Imagine speaking to these kind of souls right now. You have no idea humanity has some amazing people alive right now and right around you, you just have to look.

My job is to reveal them. In this space how could I continue to be silent.

What have you seen for yourself? What is stopping you being your true self? Expressing yourself as your possibilities? Find your true purpose in life? When is now a good time to switch autopilot off for good?