I’m on holidays with the kids at the moment but what that means is on holidays from my usual workplace.
It doesn’t mean holidays from the things I’m committed to.
What do I mean?
For example, I have a workout during my lunch hour twice a week. I attend a 5klm run once a week. I participate in daily meditation, online learning, listening to podcasts or reading book titles all related to personal growth, all activities I’m committed to outside of my usual workplace.
It got me to thinking what has you take committed action?
What compels you?
What moves you?
What has you say no way in hell am I going to miss out on this x y z?
For me, my health and well-being is and has been the top of my priorities since late 2018 when I had a medical emergency. I experienced the worst pain from an unknown source of bacteria entering my neck.
There are so many reasons why health and fitness are important to me now. But it’s not just health and fitness, it’s wellbeing of mind, body and soul. That’s why I participate in activities which stretch me, challenge me, a workout for the mind as well as a workout for the body.
My aunt once said to me health is your wealth. But until this thing happened to me, and I experienced the pain and suffering of the opposite of good health and wellbeing for myself, this statement was just a statement. Now it’s an affirmation and an intention. It resonates much more than it did before.
There are a few things that happen. First you say I’m glad it’s me and not my kids. Next you say I don’t ever want anyone else to feel this kind of pain and suffering. What can I do to make sure this never happens to someone else? Educate was my only answer. Educate others on your own experience.
When I was younger I used this first aid book. You turned the pages and a question would lead you to two alternate answers, yes or no essentially and keep you moving to the resolution to your ailment. In my minds eye, when this thing happened to me, there was no almanac, it went like this:
I have a sore neck I must have slept funny?
I’m working away, it’s stress, the way I sit using my lap top at work?
I’ll go get massage...
I’ll get more massage...
And more massage....
I see the general practitioner for pain relief as the pain is not subsiding
When I had a sore neck as a child I went to a chiropractor, let’s try a chiro
The chiro suggests myotherapy, let’s try myotherapy
Let’s try a different general practitioner cos the pain relief is not working
The gp suggests physio, let’s try physio
The physio has never seen this in his 14 years of practice and invites his head physio in to have a look, let’s get scans
On the scan I have what looks like a hematoma, which we later discovered through surgery is a rare infection and an abscess.
The pain escalates, I see a gp again for pain relief and later that day I suffer numbness in my head and ring him back, I’m also throwing up the new medication and start to panic because the pain is insurmountable.
Gp says go to hospital. The minute I get to hospital and describe my experience the nurse or doctor on shift knows exactly what’s going on for me. Little did I know this at the time. I was told I would be prepped for surgery in the am and that I would receive pain relief ASAP. They gave me a sleeping tablet too I think.
The next memory I have is being asleep and very very comfortable. I have a weird sensation on my legs, someone is tapping and slapping me. Trying to wake me up. I don’t want to wake up. I ask for a hot washer as I can’t open my eyes.
The surgeon visited me and said they took out a cup of infection. A cup. I won’t go in to detail. But know that this infection is rare but those more susceptible to it is someone who uses drugs, is diabetic or someone of old age, I was none of these. Usually entry is via a needle or a mosquito bite. Did I get bitten? Not that I know of.....
Those few months were both scary and surreal for me.
I turned to the things I knew I could in that moment through manifesting what I wanted. During the nights of healing, I asked myself for healing, I asked for the water I drank to be the magnet to carry away any toxicity from my body. Dr Emoto look him up. While he talks about the crystals in water. I decided to put the intention in to the water I drank.
This combined with prayer. While I don’t think of myself as religious, I follow my heart. I don’t define religion or culture. I have a grandmother who is Christian but she never pushed anything on me, when I went to school I learnt about all religions. When I was at high school, one day I was so passionate about how culture trumps religion, in other words, while Buddhism is a religion, it’s also part of my culture, I don’t see it as religion, but as part of my culture, because I don’t see myself as Buddhist either. I just take on the parts of my culture that have been passed down to me from my ancestors.
That night, I asked for help and guidance to get better. I made a promise to do everything and anything in my power to make sure other people never experience pain and suffering like me. That’s a tall order but I hope I will stay true to this promise.
That night, I had strange dreams. I saw blue and white icicle light. And a visitor by presence and feeling that I want to say is something you cannot describe because this moment is yours and only yours.
The next day I was better. I was literally up and moving and drawing curtains aside. I was me again. I was not pain and suffering.
What would my life be like if I was always thinking I better live my best day today, for tomorrow is not promised?
What if I lived like because I have no pain and suffering today, I’ll say yes to everything?
What if I lived like I was thankful and grateful everyday because I survived yesterday? (Not waiting for a medical emergency, to say I survived the medical emergency?)
What if I let myself have a life I truly love today, not tomorrow, because tomorrow is not promised?
What if there is nothing else that exists except the present moment?
Would that have me take committed actions?
Hi my name is Angela. I have loved writing since I was able to hold a pencil in my hand. I soon learnt I had a gift of connecting with my ancestors through writing before my 30th birthday.