“Seeking substantial wealth is almost always a fool's game.” Felix Dennis, a British multimillionaire
Ive always wondered about the saying money is the root of all evil and yet we grow up and are taught about money, about saving and about better money management. We also need money in order to survive.
If you're like me you may have grown up with a story about money. Money - there is never enough.
What if I told you, when you focus on growing yourself, you find your purpose and operate from your true purpose, there is no barrier to what is possible. Our limiting beliefs get knocked out of the way. You are showing up in the world because you want to.
Ill give an example where my focus lived in money there is never enough. I became driven to produce money. I manifested I wanted a job where I could grow and develop myself and I wanted money. But I wasnt clear about my intention, rather wasnt specific enough about the results I wanted produce. On looking back now its quite funny as I got a job, but as a bank teller! Well a bank teller works WITH money everyday! But its not yours! The universe can hear you but you have to really affirm exactly what you want.
I climbed the corporate ladder in this job and while it appealed to me to that I was helping my customers and helping my team, I got to a point where targets and putting my customers in debt no longer felt like I was helping them. It began to feel out of alignment with who I was and the difference I wanted to make in the world.
So I moved out of this banking world to a whole new one. I manifested that by my 30th birthday I would fall pregnant and have my first child so my job was about making babies and raising children. What a contrast! I remember calling forth I wanted an experience of family the same experience I got growing up. I got by with a lot less money. But what did I get in return? I got an abundance of love, connection, gratitude. I got so much more than money can buy. My life was certainly richer, my experience satisfied and fulfilled. There are no words for the moment you meet your children for the first time. Its enlightening. Each moment you are learning more and more about yourself through your interactions with your children.
I learnt that there is a distinct difference between setting and creating a goal aligned to your true purpose versus being so driven for a particular outcome that you lose who you are.
Take steps, train everyday, set and create goals, reach them and set and create new goals, train a little harder, and before you know it, you're ready to run your own race.
Something that is coming up. When I have a breakdown which means a conversation about myself that doesn’t serve me it doesn’t work to try and create from this place it feels like hard work and not a place of full self expression. Of course I need to work on breaking down the break down in the moment but because I’m growing it’s very likely I’m both having more breakdowns and self aware of the breakdowns more than usual.
I’ll share them but they’re not true they’re made up by a past me and I can’t quite catch them all but they’re all close to this. But that’s the trick you don’t have to find the exact - it just has you not fully free fully powerful and fully self expressed in the moment.
“I’m not good enough” - this one here I begin to believe
“You don’t trust me, you don’t respect me, you don’t listen to me, you think I’m stupid” - these ones here I fight against and so I become defensive in the conversation with the person I’m speaking to not knowing why (these are internal dialogues we have with ourselves in a split second because we decide something about what the person says).
When I then create from this place my self confidence is lacking my freedom is lacking my self expression is lacking my power is lacking.
My grandparents were brave, took risks, surrendered but never ever gave up, they persevered, worked hard and created a better life for us with little to nothing to their name coming here from another country. When I think about all of the sacrifices my ancestors made I think there is nothing I can’t do. Believe in yourself Ange as they did.
The possibility I’m creating for myself and my life is the possibility of being the source of my own light.
Inside this feeling is no need for external approval no need for external acknowledgment for it comes from within.
For so long I’ve been listening to you, my little voice and ive believed you.
I want it to know it’s ok - you were trying to protect me and thank you. I don’t need protecting anymore because we got this and we can do it. You can have a rest now. You must be tired. You must be so sick of defending me. I don’t need defending. I’m more than ok. Things are going to not just be ok. Things are changing and it’s ok. There is nothing wrong here. It’s just foreign and unfamiliar but I will look after you now and I’ll do so from a place of nothing is wrong. You just need to trust me. You are my light and I am yours. You are my source and I am yours. Be free. Be powerful. Be fully self expressed. Be bold. Be vivid. Be unflappable. Be unshakeable. Be yourself no matter what. Be vulnerable. Be open.
Believe in yourself. I love you little voice I want you to feel loved and I want you to know no one can hurt us because we are our own light.
In this exact moment I understand I am you you are me in a different way. The human in front of me, I am you you are me, the inner voice inside me, i am you you are me. This is vibrational this is causing me tingles throughout my whole body and I mainly feel it along my arms it’s ever so slight like my own light is shining around me and the light is tickling my arms.
I share this in the hopes you will find yourself somewhere in my words. For you, it might be another command or statement that will stop you from really showing up in the world.
I believe if you are ready to receive learning, things will happen and it won't always be apparent at the time.
Something happens. You make up a story. You say to yourself you are x y and z. Which always under the circumstances will be something that doesn't serve you. Then a series of decisions are made because of your view and/or perspective of x y z.
Let me give you an example, at some stage when I was little something happened and I said I'm not good enough. I wasn't the first one picked for a sports side, "I'm not good enough", I was left behind riding my bike home, "I'm not good enough". I applied for a hundred jobs with no replies, "I'm not good enough". These things left me feeling lonely and alone and over time, I would learn not to trust people and give of my whole self and I would be hyper sensitive to rejection and ultimately, just give up.
Over time, when you say these things to yourself so much you just believe it. Its just the air you breathe and the water you swim in. You forget that its actually something you said to yourself, you made it up and its not the TRUTH.
Fast forward to this moment, I was looking for approval for the work I was doing to create this amazing business opportunity. I could hear myself saying, "why do I need to explain myself? However, each comment that was coming to me, I was unknowingly saying "You think I'm not good enough". and so, little did I know I was actually locked in "I'm not good enough", worse than "You think I'm not good enough, was IF you think I'm not good enough then I'll just give up".
I had a moment to reflect. I asked myself what is going on here? If I am to be 100% responsible here, what was it that I needed? I needed trust. Why do I need trust from something outside of myself? Do I trust myself? Yes I do. So if I trust myself, what is going on. What's going on is your inner voice telling you from the past, that you are not good enough. When you perceive you don't get approval, you feel rejection and its bringing up your past. And to protect yourself in the past, "I'm not good enough" was something you made up. When you know you made it up you can give it up.
I shared what was opening up for me with my sister in that moment because I finally felt the epiphany. I don't need to keep believing Im not good enough. When you share with someone it becomes real and alive because its not just a conversation with yourself anymore.
I AM good enough, There is only one ME in the world. How can I not be good enough to be ME? That's really all we can be - is ourselves.
What is stopping you being you? Think about the things you say to yourself. Those things you say that leave you stopped. Those things you say that don't serve you. If you can catch yourself and slow down, you will see the things you say that are NOT the TRUTH.
Imagine what life would be like if these barriers of our own creation, were just no longer in the way. What kind of life is available?
What if we do hold great power in the words we use? "With great power, comes great responsibility" (Favourite quote from Spiderman). This is so true. Now that we know this, we can't unlearn it. So what will you do with the power of your words?
How did I get to see all of this? I have done a lot of personal development courses, read a lot of books, practiced affirmations etc. However, there is a difference between learning something and applying it. Theoretical versus practice. Its in the applying what you learn is when you create an imprint in your memory. You practice what you learn and then its embedded and you never have to remember or learn it again.
To enable an environment like this, you don't just need the content. You need the context and the content. That's where having access to unheralded mentorship and genuine support and a platform for growth is what you need. It has helped me to uncover the real me and everything I have ever learnt is not lost or forgotten - its unleashed.
Hi my name is Angela. I have loved writing since I was able to hold a pencil in my hand. I soon learnt I had a gift of connecting with my ancestors through writing before my 30th birthday.