Today I worked through the processing of a traumatic memory.
I won’t go through what happened but I will say don’t underestimate the way in which post traumatic stress disorder shows up and trust the process. In this case eye motion desensitisation and reprocessing was how I worked through my memory. What occurred during was a relay of my emotions, my feelings and my conversations to a point where I could create a positive belief and memory. When I left I had a long drive home and I got immediately very tired. The psychologist warned me it would be exhausting for me. As soon as I got home I lay down to sleep. I was awoken to the sounds of my kids. This was abrupt and startled me and so my heart rate was up and I began to get pain in my right side. The psychologist taught me to breathe but also a tapping technique on my upper top lip which I used immediately to calm myself. A family member rang me and at the end of the conversation said I lo..... I hung up on her by accident before she had time to finish her sentence so I rang her immediately back to say I need to hear that again. she said I love you and I said I love you too and I explained I hung up on her mid sentence and it was rude but that I also needed to hear it. I began to cry immediately because through the processing of my memory one of the negative beliefs or thoughts created before therapy, was that I was not loved or cared for. I allowed the experience of being loved to wash over me and receive and accept it. Maybe this is the first time I’ve allowed myself to trust and to receive it. This experience has taught me that it’s important to ask for help when you need it. You have to realise you’re not alone. If you feel something is not quite right, trust your intuition. It takes courage to work through trauma. But in many ways I was only ready now, in this moment to actually work through it. To find peace you may not be able to do it on your own. Especially where you are working through childhood trauma. In the end it will be you healing yourself but you are being guided by a professional. The first step is to pick up the phone and book an appointment with a qualified psychologist. I recommend visiting your general practitioner even to obtain a mental health plan or using your internal support services through your workplace if they give you an employee assistance program for example. These steps just help you to offset some of the cost. You are worthy of this investment. It’s time for you to close the chapter on those questions marks you’ve kept in the air. Am I loved?
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Are you someone who is curious about life, about the people around you and the way they navigate their lives?
I have an avid curiosity for what it means to be human. I’m thirsty for knowledge not just from a theory book but from speaking with people one on one to understand what drives them. You see we all have these moments in our lives where we have faced challenges and obstacles. Each of us has these moments where its either shaped who we have become in good or bad ways. It either works for us or doesn’t and what I know about the many many people I have spoken to over many many years, I’ve tried to show them a new perspective, a different lens over how they have perceived these moments. How do you turn something that doesn’t work for you to something that does work for you? It’s just your point of view. If you limit your point of view it can only ever be one way of looking at something. What if you realised every moment was a learning experience in this journey called life. What did you learn? Have you learnt how to be more patient? How to be more generous of heart? More kind? More connected? More empathetic? Why I say these particular phrases is because I’ve been there and that’s exactly the way in which it unfolded for me. You might use different terminology and phraseology but what did you learn about yourself? My parents fought a lot growing up. Little did I realise at the time how that would impact upon me as an adult. I’m conflict and confrontation averse which means I back myself out of a conversation if I even perceive it’s not going to go well here. I just can’t see the point in arguing with anyone. In many ways this a good trait to have but I also have resentment because I’m incapable in the moment to say how I really feel or communicate what I really want to say to the other person. In many ways it’s debilitating and disabling. But because I know this about myself I try to become more aware of those moments and invite myself to observe them. Being an observer means I watch it unfold and break down what’s going on - the process of my thinking. What I’ve discovered about myself is that I’m afraid of where a conversation might go. But hanging in the conversation for just five more minutes is a strategy that’s as suggest to me many years ago. You can validate another person by acknowledging what they’ve said. You are listening for understanding and asking if how you’ve interpreted what they’ve said is correct. This gives you space and time to think clearly and logically. To slow down your heart rate in that moment. To cultivate a calm mind. To find what it is you really want to say honouring your own values as well as the person before you. We have so much in common with another as human beings. Sometimes it’s just about being more interested in another human being beyond the surface, going deeper and beyond the superficial. It’s about how can I find out what drives or motivates or inspires this individual? Managers can sometimes do this well. But you don’t have to be a manager to master this. What I know to be true of us all is we are seeking belonging and connection, psychologically safe spaces to express ourselves and to be understood. Not many of us had great role models in our parents or guardians but over time we have collected role models, teachers, managers, colleagues, celebrities even, authors of biographies or fiction that gave us characters to aspire to. People who we saw how they operate in the world and we said I want to be just like that. It might seem idealistic and simplistic but really have a look at all the people in your life who have played a part in shaping who you have become, even the people who didn’t quite get it right in the moment because they were operating from what they knew. Remember we do all have the best intentions but sometimes it doesn’t always land the way we intended. I’m a parent I stuff that role up all the time. But I equally know I said to myself I’ll never be like that I won’t be a parent like them. Having heard myself speak realising, I have turned out just like them. or there’s a way not to manage or I’ll make sure I never speak to others the way I was just spoken to. There are people in our lives who get it right and people who don’t get it right. Become aware and have a look. With the people who don’t quite get it right, there is still a lesson to learn for us, for ourselves as individuals. This is where you’ll realise just how much e all have in common as human beings. We are flawed and that’s ok. We’re also very very amazing, capable and surprisingly resilient. This list we have of things in common is never ending. The more I speak to individuals coaching them, learning about them, the more I discover about myself and realise just how much we all have in common. "One of the tasks I’ve been set by my psychologist is to find an activity or hobby to love with one intention - to spend quality time on filling my own bucket.
She asked me to list some things I like to do, before I left her at the last session. I said, "reading. I like reading books." "I'm reading David Goggins, Cant Hurt Me, where he is recalling how he mastered his mind, and broke through his own barriers." She looked a little concerned about me sharing that I cried when he shared about the realities of the life he lived and endured. As the book unfolded, I thought my life pales in insignificance in comparison.... In other words, I have much to be grateful for. What else do you like reading she said. I told her I'm also reading Start with why by Simon Sinek, A new earth by Eckhart Tolle among a list of other self-empowerment books. I told her I like to start lots of books but I haven't finished them. She read my mind in that moment. You don't want to finish them because you're enjoying them that you want them to last and last. "YES!" Maybe you can look at finishing the ones you've started? What else do you like doing or would you like doing for yourself? "Salsa Dancing? But I don't want to do it on my own. I've asked my husband to join me but its just not his thing." You're allowed to do things on your own. It can be you time. What else? "Meditation or Yoga maybe. Oh yeh and Park Runs" Just as a doctor would write up a prescription, she had a little notebook, and wrote up my tasks, tasks for me to investigate. I have been on the hunt ever since to find activities I can do that are relatively close to home. Last night I came across the idea of aerial yoga accidentally because my daughter has a double hammock that is taking up too much space and I was trying to think of a vertical solution that can be unhinged and put back up when in use, but when not in use, wouldn't take up much space. The more I looked in to aerial yoga, the more I thought hmm this might be the 'something' I have been looking for. It had piqued my interest in the past but I never followed through on it because the studios were too far away. Today when I googled I found a studio close to home and thought great! Then I started a hunt for equipment. I was amazed at how affordable the equipment is and how much is available online. I then also discovered an online resource. It is internationally recognised but also delivers tuition online for aspiring aerial yoga teachers. I thought to myself maybe in learning the how to, I can also learn how to teach, after all I want my daughter to learn too, and because I want to spend the time learning the how, I am equally interested in the how to teach. When I was a baby, my mum had me sleep in a hammock hanging in the doorway. I did the same for my babies we used a Nature's Sway Hammock. They are readily available online. The hammock uses the babies own breathing pattern and or weight to wiggle, to rock, to sway etc. This hammock also helps baby feel safe, secure and snug, almost as if in the womb. This is what I imagine aerial yoga will also be for us - a cocoon of safety and creativity, for my daughter and I. She loves gymnastics and acrobatics and we've been looking for an extracurricular activity for her too. I think this will be perfect and fit in with what I am also trying to achieve as parent and a mum - different methods of instilling the art of meditation to my kids, to help them to cultivate a calm mind. I will soon share a link with you on how you can also get involved online with aerial yoga, no matter where you are in the world. And watch this space for what we will be creating from here. I believe the power of internet, whilst it has its drawbacks, has made more activities accessible and approachable. It just means our geographic location no longer becomes a barrier. The best thing Covid-19 did for us was to show us just how much we can achieve just being at home also. This is one of those activities you can do in the comfort of your own home. I love to be quite competitive in the activities and hobbies I participate in, which means I want to hang out with the best teachers, coaches etc and be part of the best teams etc. Usually that means you need to go to the heart of the city centre to find the best of the best but now the online world has made it possible or me to connect with the best of the best online without that geographical barrier. Im excited to have accidentally come across this new activity or hobby that will become my new love. How does finding an activity or hobby you love relate to creating an online business? Imagine your work and your play time overlapping and choosing to work on the things you love every single day? What if you can choose the type of work you do based on what you love? Stay tuned. Cant wait for you to hang out with me too. It’s been a challenging year for all.
I can’t help but feel we were sucked in to some kind of weird vortex and spat back out. Do you feel that way too? Have you been experiencing some really unusual things? I guess when you are someone who is becoming more aware about yourself and about the things that are important to you in your life, you start to pay more attention to what shows up. You begin to think - is this part of a grand plan? Is this part of MY grand plan? I don't remember writing the script on this one that's all and I surely would have written the script another way - you know one with the happily ever after, and the story line that is too good to be true. After all, that's how the movies unfold for us, right? In reality, life is much more complex than just another movie. I'll bet you can't fit your life in 3 hours and 30 minutes. Yep you betcha, I googled the Titanic, aka longest movie ever, which took 3 hours and 30 minutes. Here's the thing about my complicated life.... you couldn't even have conjured a story this good. My house was one of many houses in my neighbourhood to be smashed to smithereens by hailstones in the recent hailstorm. Just as covid-19 was unprecedented - this storm was unprecedented. I am fortunately one of the luckier ones, who can still remain in their home but it got me thinking about how far along on my self-discovery journey I really am. I recently participated in a communication workshop within the learning platform I share, and realised that no matter what challenges and circumstances I am faced with, I always have a choice. A choice to react and respond in ways that serve me or don't serve me. Being on this self-discovery journey, supported by this collaborative community, has taught me to trust myself and look within for all the answers I am looking for. The way in which the platform works is through the context created that says everything you want for yourself and your life is available by becoming laser focussed on who you are and providing value. But you've got to get clear on the value you provide to the world. What I realised was I was so busy looking out in the world for the past 40 years, when I should have been looking in the mirror. Your experiences have shaped and moulded you. You have become this unique individual who absolutely has something to offer this world. When is now the time to turn the microscope on you? The birds are singing, I hear baby birds cheerfully singing tunes and together their songs are interlaced creating a masterpiece.
When did I first start paying attention and taking notice? When did I wake up early of my own accord and feel excited at the prospect of just listening to the bird song? When did I become present to the present moment? I would say it started a long time ago, but this intentional learning journey began in February of 2020. In late 2018 when I very nearly thought I would no longer be here. In late 2005, when I participated in an experiential transformational education. And when I was old enough to pick and choose books from my parents bookshelf. Books opened up my eyes to new perspectives and little did I know that would be the foundations of who I have now become and who I know myself to be. I’m not the smartest forty year old out there and I was never the smartest kid in school. I always felt slightly different and like I didn’t belong. I had trouble with pronouncing words I saw for the first time, my dad must have realised early on he would need to help and guide me. My dad encouraged me to write letters to my extended family from about the age was of 10. This was the beginning of expressing myself and learning through repetition. It was artistic and creative and I couldn’t get marked high or low on a letter. It was genius really. He was instilling confidence in me. He was saying the more you practice, the better you’ll get. When I was younger we would have spelling bees at the dining room table. It was great and the older I got the less we did this but I saw him repeat this with my siblings. He would make me read the newspaper out loud to him. At that time I wanted to be a news broadcaster so he encouraged me to read like a tv news broadcaster. He took me to the public library with him every other Saturday to stay and wander the shelves, read and borrow books. They were peaceful and for a little kid a wonderland of discovery, hunting for the next treasure. When I was about 12, I can remember sourcing a lot of self help books on mum and dads bookshelf and I read each and every one of them. Little did they or I realise the impact of all these little ways they were helping and guiding me to become this human being? How will you turn the microscope on you and find these kinds of nuggets for yourself about your own life? For me it took a committed listener, a collaborative community, mentorship and coaching, help and guidance, training and education. Through the site you can click any link to subscribe to a series of beginner training. Exactly where I got my start. What do I really mean here.
What I’m trying to tell you is that being brave is actually not something that is easy. Your jar of fear could be filled 100%. Does that mean you don’t take bold action? And the only reason I can say this is the experience is right here with me. Every moment I put pen to paper. Every time I put myself out there. There is a lot of fear. But the fear disappears when I realise the reason I’m doing what I’m doing isn’t just for me but to help and serve others who might be on a similar journey or struggling to find their purpose in the world or asking is there more to life than this or maybe already beginning the journey of an entrepreneur but ready to stretch themselves to make more of a difference in their business but beyond that to impact and change their communities and the world. I’ve been struggling not so much with purpose but with my sense of self and worthiness and my current place in the world. I have all these labels of who I am and what I do. All these roles. But I got overwhelmed. I got tired. I broke down. That was day one of remote working and remote schooling. But that’s not when this really started for me. When I first became a mother, I didn’t know what I was doing. Who was I kidding. It started all the way back then this fear of failure. It was worse than just a fear, I actually believed I was failing. How can it be - a fear of failure equals this feeling of I’m actually failing? And at that time I didn’t ask for help. But I should have. Back then I didn’t know that this is one of the signs of Post Natal Depression. When I look back I can see a lot of different things about myself. I would cry. Just sit and cry. It was the loneliness and being alone. People were around me but I felt I was by myself. I fell pregnant with my second child when my first child was just 8 months old. It started to get hard for me when I realised I’m going to have two of these humans running around, how am I going to cope, when I can’t even cope with one? That kind of thinking started towards the end of my pregnancy but I also remember being very melancholic through out that pregnancy. I felt an underlying anger and resentment actually. I felt controlled. Controlled by the circumstances that felt like I hadn’t chosen them. I felt as if this was just happening to me and I had no choice in the matter. At the time I felt trapped. I can see it from here now. But back then it was the water I swam in and the air I breathed. I didn’t question it and think I needed help? I just accepted the dialogue that kept showing up. I began to build a new identity when I started working again. But this is how easy it is to mask the stuff that’s right underneath the surface. I worked as a waitress for one of my mum’s restaurants. I kept myself busy, the eldest boy was in kindy at this stage I think. One day I said to my husband when those boys grow up they’re going to leave me and that’s ok. I want to have a daughter who I will have an ongoing relationship with one day. I also shared something with him I’d never shared before. Those boys were not intentional pregnancies. I love them but I didn’t choose to become pregnant and nor was I potentially ready. This is the first time I want this which is to be pregnant of my choosing. I felt extremely empowered at this time, which indicates to me I must have been ok at this stage. I painted a vivid picture of what the future would look like I said once pregnant and the baby was crawling and eating solids I would go back to full time work again. We had a baby girl as luck would have it. Because when you put it out there that this is what you want whilst it’s an intention you never really know if it’s going to eventuate and of course being pregnant means creating a baby of any gender. So when I say luck I mean it matched my intention. I never felt this fear of failure come back until things with my eldest started to become difficult. I can’t even recall when it started but this sense of I’m not in control and I am powerless has sort of lingered I guess for the past three or so years. I went to the local doctor (GP) who told me from 1-7 its all about mum but from 8-14 it’s all about dad. Something clicked and I realised how true that was but this still didn’t quash this feeling of failure. Little did I realise that each and every single time something went wrong with my eldest I was associating as my fault. I mean he would get in trouble at school and I would blame myself for not setting him up to not get in trouble. For not being the kind of parent who gave him the right skills to cope at school. That’s a lot of burden right there I put on myself. So this blog is not going to finish like it normally does. I need to tell you that I’m seeing a psychologist to work on this stuff that’s sitting on my shoulders. It took something for me to be brave enough to book the appointment. I had the persons details for more than a year maybe even two years. I waited til I had numerous incidents occur. Once an incident occurred at work I knew something wasn’t right with me. And that gave me the strength and the willpower to pick up the phone. This is not right how I’m feeling and I need help. You don’t have to suffer in silence and be alone with this. You need to open up and share and the best place to do that is with a qualified professional. You have to trust in the process and in yourself. I waited forty years to be brave enough to get the real help I needed. Don’t wait forever. If your 3, 12, 17, 29 or 30 all times I should have asked for help but didn’t know how. I had a self help book at home but it was only about first aid. It was a flow chart you answered a series of questions yes or no and it took you through to your answer - much in the way we use google now I suppose but this was a printed book. I remember distinctly turning to the index hoping to find the answers to my questions. When I filled out the form with the psych I was very much scared and afraid. Of not what she had to say to me - if what would come out of my mouth. But I needn’t have been afraid or scared because once I started, it’s the truth, it’s the honest truth of my life. What are you really afraid of? Could it be that once this is out, you’ll have no more excuses as to why you can’t take bold action? Could it be that this has paralysed you and if you’re no longer paralysed you’ll need to take responsibility for your life? Not like guilt, blame or shame but responsibility like honour and privilege. Time to take the reins? Steer in a new direction? One that aligns with who your know yourself to be? Not the stories, patterns and programming of your past? My story is still uniquely unfolding. When I write these blogs I make a commitment to share with you whatever is coming up in the moment. It’s uncensored, it’s unedited and that’s why I called it first and last draft. In high school I would get to the finish line of an essay or assignment only to discover I didn’t hit save and the computer crashed. This is how I learnt I had to trust whatever was in my mind to say for the first and last time because I didn’t have enough time to muck around in order to get my paper in on time. That is the ethos of my page and my blogs. I write from my heart and share exactly what is coming up in the moment. I have a Facebook page that I’m developing and I have an Instagram page I’m also building piece by piece. It takes me longer to do each platform because I’ve been disparate about it. I manage the social media of my mum and dads restaurant also but this can be haphazard because I will post when I’m there. What I’m wanting to share with you is that the platform I share gives me access to hundreds of resources and mentors who I can glean hints and tips from about the way in which I take my business. This is invaluable to me. For me though a successfully crafted business can be the outcome of working on you first. How on earth can you realise your value to the world if you don’t first realise your value to you - to yourself? So this is why I work on me and why I share with you everything that has helped me along the way. Yours in every way cheering you on to take bold action. Hold fear’s hand she needs to be loved too. This is how my world shows up for me.
I listen to the clues. “So much to tell you” So much to tell you - this whisper grows louder and I remember it’s a book I read as a child. Written by John Marsden. But I also recognise it’s a clue. A clue for my own journey. It’s time for me to write my book, finally. Here I’ve been thinking it will be a book about my family and my ancestors. I’ve been holding back and realise this book is actually for me to write about my own life. I really do have so much to tell you. Why have I been holding back? Because I thought it would need to be a non fiction. I’d run out of things to say? I have so much to tell you because I want you to be better than me. I want you to have the things I’ve only learnt about over time on my own. You don’t have to do things on your own. I want to encourage you to read. A lot. But pick up books for inspiration and creativity. The more you read the more you will realise you are learning not just about the story in the book, but the story of your own life and you’re learning more and more about yourself through learning about others. This is for you my beautiful children and beyond you this is for you, world. Be great in the world meaning don’t be stopped, be the change you want to see. Put another way it’s called resistance.
This thing that stops you from taking action, building the things you want in your life, stops you being creative, imaginative and dreaming about what’s possible for you and your life. That’s sleep walking or resistance. When will you be ready to wake up? Just like your alarm. Do you ignore it or do you listen to it? Do you ignore your inner gut, inner intuition, your inner self, the voice that serves or do you listen to it? Or do you listen to it’s counterpart - the one who says stay comfortable. Stay safe. Don’t venture out. Don’t try new things. Just. Stay. Right. Where. You. Are. If so, it can be debilitating and can be disabling and it can be as though you are sleep walking. You’re asleep. You’re not awake. How would it feel to wake up everyday listening to your inner ding. Trusting yourself wholeheartedly and making changes in your life aligned exactly with who you are in the world. Pushing aside your programming, the patterns of the past in your way? Imagine using your creativity without the critic in your way? Imagine taking bold action and taking fear by the hand each step of the way? Imagine what life will be like for you if you never ever felt stopped by anything? What could life be like if you recognised the talents you have within you and they’re unleashed in this moment where you say I’m ready? What if all it takes is honouring your word - if there’s something you’ve put out in to the world that you want, you have to follow through. It’s not like a childhood want. It’s something that makes a difference to you your family and friends, your communities and the world. It’s got to be something that gets you up everyday inspired and motivated to keep taking actions It’s called your why. When you get clear on your why, there will be no stopping you. Your journey to why just takes curiosity and a yes. You have to say yes to yourself. I believe everyone’s birthright is to find their talent, their reason for being, their purpose, their why. It’s not what you think it is - it’s not a label. It’s something that comes from within you and you’ve likely been being a version of yourself to honour this why for some time now. It’s knowing NOW you can do something different with your life, with your why. What will it be? You make lemonade?
Well the point is what is the silver lining? What can you learn about your life from this here incident or event? What lesson is lurking in the midst of the shadowy surface? When things happen around you all you have control over is how you be about it. Life can be really a never ending occurrence of things that happen that shouldn’t happen but do, would never happen to you but do, out of left field unexpected brings you to your knees stuff that you just go when am I ever going to get a break? See life throws at you only that which you can handle. In that case if for example we keep getting more challenging stuff does that mean we have reached some kind of performance level? Breaking the ceiling each time we master the next level. Much like a computer game? I’m ready to unfold the stories of my past in the hopes it will provide healing to the rest of the world to whomever needs to hear it. We all have a story to tell. Mine starts here. Imagine if you were able to transform moments in your life past, present and future where you have the capacity to honour yourself and whomever else is in the moment with you?
That’s the power of awakening. Short and sweet for those of you who arrived here thinking I’ll have to read the whole blog before I’ll get to the punchline. Again that is another example of the power of awakening at work. I honour your time and if you have more time to keep reading then thank you for being here. This journey we are on called life and living in this skin called being a human being was met with this question I’m sure by you, by some of you any way. What is the meaning of life? What is my life for? What is my true calling and purpose in life? If you haven’t yet come to a point to ask these questions? Perhaps do you ask why is this happening? Or why is this happening to me? Or why is this always happening to me? When something didn’t go quite right or the way you thought it would have or could have? Let me give you an example from my life where I believe my intentional journey began. This means I was consciously aware of the decisions and choices I was making to cause and create the results or outcomes in my life. And I visualised exactly what I wanted for my life. The usual way things go is human beings love to disagree and we’re never satisfied with agreeing to disagree. On this occasion I took a big picture overview of what was going on in my household but beyond that I also looked at the intentions of each individual. We are all doing the very best we can from where we are. We are molded and shaped by our past. Our parents, our upbringing, the experiences that unfolded in our past are always there impacting our worldview. Understanding this gave me an access to be empathetic not for my sake but empathetic for the sake of the other person. When you can say to yourself - it’s not about me, and genuinely mean it, you have found some kind of special access or key to unlocking the power of awakening. It’s really not about me. This experience I’m having right now is for this form or this body. But taking an eagle eyed view I can see it’s not about me. It never was and never is. I’m here for a purpose and that purpose was slowly unfolding for me right before my eyes. I’m here to serve the people around me - whomever comes in to my realm, my contact, becomes another someone I’m to watch over, observe, be connected with, have compassion for, have empathy for. This person is hurting and has literally no one they can turn to. Let me use an analogy and this actually happened. We were walking at our local park and came across a wounded and injured bird, it was flapping its wings but unable to launch. We could see it was shivering and scared. I told my kids we need try to help it without scaring it more. We needed to cover it over gently with material and pick it up, once it was covered over and we held it gently it appeared to calm. I was sharing my loving kindness energy and my way of being could only be described as calm, connected, caring. We found a box and put some holes in it and put the bird in there. We called a wildlife carer who then came to collect it. The bird didn’t need to trust us. But because we approached it with loving kindness and our intention was pure. It allowed us to approach it. This is the same hurt that was being experienced in my household which was the result of ongoing bickering and egos at play. Someone had to stop and be a leader in that moment. A leader is not a dictator. A leader is also not necessarily the one with all the answers either. They have a way of demonstrating their leadership through courage and serving others. I stopped, paused and breathed and thought if this was me hurting or if this was the bird hurting what would I want someone to do? What would I do? What’s needed and wanted right now is loving kindness, compassion, empathy, forgiveness, love, caring for someone or something because I say so not because I have to, not because it’s the right thing to do, not because I’m told to do it. No it’s because I say so. I say so. This is what I say will be and it will be. Because I say so. That’s the power of your word. Then you have to back it up by honouring your word. And you need integrity - the ease and grace to say even though I stuffed up in that moment, please forgive me and here’s my new promise or my new commitment. I made a bold statement and whilst I didn’t know how to keep my promise, for the best part of as long as I’ve known since then, I have kept my promise. I am there for this person every single moment demonstrating my commitment to them even though I didn’t vow or declare. I validate their feelings and their emotions. I try to search for the win win win win in all moments. A win for me a win for husband a win for mother in law a win for kids. It’s not the same as being a people pleaser which is how I’ve related to myself for such a long time. Being able to take the higher ground, being able to foresee what is to come, there are patterns of behaviour that are predictable. Here they go again form A and form B when will they ever realise or learn I say in my head. I leave them to it. Once the dust settles I have my say either one on one or all together to hopefully have them see they are both right and no one is wrong. There can be more than one right and no wrong. There is nothing wrong here Transforming your entire perception of things that arise to there is nothing wrong here is another access or key to unlocking the power of awakening. There are so many actions and reactions - you almost need to come at your life as a watcher or and observer like being in a movie theatre watching it unfold. If you can just relax in to it, watching it without any opinions, judgements or assessments and know that whatever is coming up is the right movie you’re watching and there is a lesson to learn here. People come in to your life for a reason. And notice all of them because they are all significant and important in terms of your life journey. Think of it like this sliding doors the movie she missed one train to hop on another, missing one set of doors she misses catching her partner cheating, in an alternative scene where she gets the train on time she catches her partner cheating and the story unfolds between these two story lines or possibilities of what her life looks like or could look like. What if that person you say hi to every day was having a rough day - you said hi without even thinking about it, but for them it meant the world to them because you noticed them, you acknowledge them. You have absolutely no idea the impact you have on another person until you ask them. But the point is you have unlocked another access or key to the power of awakening if you can do things for no other reason than for being in serve of the other person. It’s not about me. Pending post I’ll be back with more soon I hope. |
AuthorHi my name is Angela. I have loved writing since I was able to hold a pencil in my hand. I soon learnt I had a gift of connecting with my ancestors through writing before my 30th birthday. Categories
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January 2022
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