Bring on the hurdles

I had the opportunity and the privilege to participate in a coaching program yesterday.

I have to rewind my story a little to get to my point. This time last year, the same or similar program was socialised at work.

I had the following thoughts I’m not good enough, who would want to be coached by me, there is no way I could contribute anything to this program. All pretty much self limiting beliefs and patterns of thinking that stopped me from realising my potential.

I can say now they were excuses to keep me playing small and not going for the things I really want. Not stepping out of my comfort zone.

So this year I have been on a steep learning curve. Getting down to the nitty gritty to really unravel all that’s not me.

I had been helping people through my role and I touched base with the facilitator. It was that one interaction that gave me a glimmer of oh maybe I can do this.

I take my hat off to the facilitator. She coached me to have a frank, open and honest conversation. I had the conversation with the person and we were both left empowered.

In that moment I saw myself and coaching differently. Everyone is on a learning journey. The growth mindset is about realising we are always and ever learning.

I had been looking and searching for rigorous learning. And the platform I found has been contributing to providing the context I have been able to step into.

I put my hand up to volunteer for this coaching program not knowing what was going to be or happen.

We had our introduction session and each time we were invited to speak I got brave and spoke first, thinking I came to the program to get out of my comfort zone.

The first question what are you most proud of, I trusted my inner voice in the moment. I didn’t preplan what I was going to say and then put my hand up. I put my hand up to say yes I’ll be first to answer this question. That’s another victory over the past.

So as I began to speak, I let the true me, my true self arrive, she is vulnerable, she feels safe with others, she is open, she feels connected. Im most proud of discovering my true why, which is to honour my heritage, my ancestors, my grandparents who travelled from China to Australia with nothing to their name.

Everything I do, all that I am, is being thankful and grateful for the life I have and the life they contributed to creating. It’s about having empathy for their experiences, thinking what would they have done or thinking how can I do things differently and better to create an even better life for my family, just as they did for theirs?

I am so motivated to connect with others because I’m inspired by who they are and what they’re capable of - that is who I am. So imagine if that’s who I am, why was I a no to volunteer for the program last year versus my yes to volunteer for the program this year?

I’m ready this year. I took the challenge in the learning platform that I found, to find myself and be my true self. This wasn’t easy. It was truly looking at all the conversations that don’t work for me and flipping them on their head. I have coaches, mentors and a community who support me on my own individual journey.

I say these are the areas of my life that are important to me - my family, my relationships with people, my career, my health and fitness, my finances. Then I took to work on transforming each area.

Every time a hurdle showed up, I became introspective rather than avoiding looking at what needed to be looked at. The me from before would avoid or concede. Imagine what that feels like. It feels like always coming last. It feels like always being the one to say sorry or give in or not have a say at all. Put another way I was a people pleaser.

Now, I can still be the parts of me from before - be kind and be of service but I can also bring forth new possibilities of being unleashed and unreasonable which in action looks like having conversations that are true to me, no matter what arises.

Confrontation and conflict were like bad words for me. Now, I welcome the opportunity to have these kinds of conversations because I know they will grow me and the person I’m with. I know this because I have unraveled myself time and time again that I know it’s possible for others to unravel themselves too.

All it takes is for you to take one committed action,