I have been quiet for the past few days contemplating the inner work, the inner voice and the inner game. It can be confronting to realise it’s in play right now.
For me, it showed up sneakily this week. I read a comment about something and I was a reaction to my interpretation of the comment and I spoke up about it to say please don’t repeat that communication and behaviour with me in the future. This action creates a gap and a disconnect between this important person and I.
Another way it showed up this week is through my interactions with others. I realised yesterday, I look for cues through body language and facial expressions. Through listening for open communication. Through receiving positive energy. That inner voice, boy, it creeps up on you. When the conversation is always about you, around you and surrounds you, you know it’s your ego at play.
Here is the thing with us humans. We are always going through something. We are always experiencing, feeling, absorbing, analysing, etc. it might be something about us, something that happened, whatever the case may be. If something is impacting upon us it comes through in our communication - both unintentionally and intentionally.
However, we pass cues on via our ways of being and our communication, another individual we are talking to, who is not in our heads, didn’t get to see the last few episodes of the show called your inner voice and so they are receiving your radio waves even though those waves may or may not be for them. But what happens when you miss the last few episodes of a tv show, for example, you missed out right? You feel like you have to catch up? You ask the people around you, what did I miss? You are genuinely stuck in your head with the mystery of, what is going on?
If we bring that analogy back to a one on one situation, you might also ask the question, “are you ok?”. If the other person does or doesn’t feel ok and the timing feels right for them and they have a trusting relationship with you, they may say no I’m not. More often than not though, people will always say, “yes I’m ok. I’m good. I’m all good.” This is also a sign. In their way of being, you’ll know for sure if they are or aren’t. But don’t push it.
In these kinds of situations, because of the disconnect I experienced this week, I automatically went to, is it me? Did I say or do something wrong? This is how twisted our inner voice can be. From one undistinguished event to another, wreaking havoc, where ever it is allowed to go (I say allowed cos it is a choice in every single moment, if you can catch it quick enough, as in be aware of it, then you can let it go).
So now you need to remember and realise that it’s not about you. It’s never about you. And if it was the person will let you know. Don’t be so paranoid, Trust yourself, the time and energy you have put into building the relationships you have built. Give people space to arrive at the destination they need to when they want to and need to. Be a stand and be the space of possibility that you are.
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Hi my name is Angela. I have loved writing since I was able to hold a pencil in my hand. I soon learnt I had a gift of connecting with my ancestors through writing before my 30th birthday.