I had the opportunity and the privilege to participate in a coaching program yesterday.
I have to rewind my story a little to get to my point. This time last year, the same or similar program was socialised at work. I had the following thoughts I’m not good enough, who would want to be coached by me, there is no way I could contribute anything to this program. All pretty much self limiting beliefs and patterns of thinking that stopped me from realising my potential. I can say now they were excuses to keep me playing small and not going for the things I really want. Not stepping out of my comfort zone. So this year I have been on a steep learning curve. Getting down to the nitty gritty to really unravel all that’s not me. I had been helping people through my role and I touched base with the facilitator. It was that one interaction that gave me a glimmer of oh maybe I can do this. I take my hat off to the facilitator. She coached me to have a frank, open and honest conversation. I had the conversation with the person and we were both left empowered. In that moment I saw myself and coaching differently. Everyone is on a learning journey. The growth mindset is about realising we are always and ever learning. I had been looking and searching for rigorous learning. And the platform I found has been contributing to providing the context I have been able to step into. I put my hand up to volunteer for this coaching program not knowing what was going to be or happen. We had our introduction session and each time we were invited to speak I got brave and spoke first, thinking I came to the program to get out of my comfort zone. The first question what are you most proud of, I trusted my inner voice in the moment. I didn’t preplan what I was going to say and then put my hand up. I put my hand up to say yes I’ll be first to answer this question. That’s another victory over the past. So as I began to speak, I let the true me, my true self arrive, she is vulnerable, she feels safe with others, she is open, she feels connected. Im most proud of discovering my true why, which is to honour my heritage, my ancestors, my grandparents who travelled from China to Australia with nothing to their name. Everything I do, all that I am, is being thankful and grateful for the life I have and the life they contributed to creating. It’s about having empathy for their experiences, thinking what would they have done or thinking how can I do things differently and better to create an even better life for my family, just as they did for theirs? I am so motivated to connect with others because I’m inspired by who they are and what they’re capable of - that is who I am. So imagine if that’s who I am, why was I a no to volunteer for the program last year versus my yes to volunteer for the program this year? I’m ready this year. I took the challenge in the learning platform that I found, to find myself and be my true self. This wasn’t easy. It was truly looking at all the conversations that don’t work for me and flipping them on their head. I have coaches, mentors and a community who support me on my own individual journey. I say these are the areas of my life that are important to me - my family, my relationships with people, my career, my health and fitness, my finances. Then I took to work on transforming each area. Every time a hurdle showed up, I became introspective rather than avoiding looking at what needed to be looked at. The me from before would avoid or concede. Imagine what that feels like. It feels like always coming last. It feels like always being the one to say sorry or give in or not have a say at all. Put another way I was a people pleaser. Now, I can still be the parts of me from before - be kind and be of service but I can also bring forth new possibilities of being unleashed and unreasonable which in action looks like having conversations that are true to me, no matter what arises. Confrontation and conflict were like bad words for me. Now, I welcome the opportunity to have these kinds of conversations because I know they will grow me and the person I’m with. I know this because I have unraveled myself time and time again that I know it’s possible for others to unravel themselves too. All it takes is for you to take one committed action,
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I am an insanely curious person about people and what they’re capable of. I’ve acknowledged that I’ve been this way since about 2007.
I attended the landmark forum and the curriculum of life from about this time and my whole view of myself and hence, the world shifted and changed. But little did I know, that the learning platform I now have access to was going to give me the kind of personal growth and rigorous insight I was looking for in 2007 by virtue of my willingness to take myself on. What do I mean by take myself on? There is a context within the learning platform that says your ability to produce outcomes is equal to your willingness to look at yourself and grow. Grow what exactly? Grow your mindset. Before you write this off as another guru, voodoo, new agey thing, it’s really all about you and what you really want for your life and having the access to get it. I walked in to this platform knowing I wanted a mentor or mentors and coaching and guidance around my career, around my relationships, essentially any and all aspects of my life. I also walked in thinking how hard can it be, I’ve done the landmark forum and the curriculum for life. I started writing this blog thinking I would be writing a triumph around my daughter and my youngest brother but im just trusting what is coming up right now. It’s midnight and I need to share this story instead. When I participated in the landmark forum, the advanced course and the self expression and leadership program, and the introduction leaders program, don’t get me wrong, I did learn a lot and I did get and produce results but my life back then looks completely different to what my life looks like now. Back then I was single. Now I’m married. Back then I was child free. Now I have three. So in 13 years, of course my life has changed. Originally when mum introduced this platform to me two years ago I had no idea what she was going on about and I just blindly helped her with cautious trepidation because I was operating from a here we go again place. Over the years mum has tried every single thing you can imagine some good and some not so good. The balance of not so good to good, winning. So it was easy for me to make an assumption on the side of not so good. When I finally got an open mind and said a real yes to her, I turned up to be with her and really listen openly from a new place and attended a two day event with her, the learning community and the founders. That was the first access, the next was taking on the learning modules, next was tackling the technical and after that was facing head on all the things in my life that don’t work for me. See what began to happen is I started a new routine for myself. Meditation daily. Reading books or listening to podcasts on personal development/spirituality/growth mindset daily. I begin to unravel everything that wasn’t me. When I was by myself I started to see more of myself show up. In my writing, I started to see more of myself show up. In my video journal, I started to see more of myself show up. I gave myself permission to show up and when I did this, it also shone a light on everything that wasn’t me, everything that is not a match for what I really want in life. Another aspect of my growth is that I received the coaching wholeheartedly. When you are willing to give the coach 100% permission then you’re going to get much more from the coaching session then if you only give them 50% permission. So I realised for myself that it’s possible I only gave 50% permission way back when I did the curriculum for life. The things that we call hurdles or challenges are actually in service of finding what we’re really made of. Every single one of those moments is a gift. If you could just see that they are the crumbs or clues to getting closer to who you really are. The more I have been listening to my true self and expressing her, the more I hear her. The more I hear her the more I realise how much I really have to say and how much catching up I have to do. I have about 37 years to catch up on. I have so much discovery about the 37 years now that I didn’t have before. Assuming I got language when I was 3. When you are willing to keep on looking at yourself no matter what is going on in your life, when you’re willing to take 100% responsibility, not blame, shame, guilt, bad or wrong. Just realising that every single thing that hasn’t worked for you has been because you haven’t listened to her, your inner voice and what she really has to say, underneath her anger, underneath her rage, her upset, her frustration, her sadness, is an undelivered message from a past moment that needs healing. The healing comes from the simplicity of saying exactly how you feel about the past moment that needs healing. Like anything this takes practice. It’s takes working within a framework and context that is created within the learning platform, and the community and the safe space it provides. |
AuthorHi my name is Angela. I have loved writing since I was able to hold a pencil in my hand. I soon learnt I had a gift of connecting with my ancestors through writing before my 30th birthday. Categories
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